Cell phone, Trampoline, A years' worth of magazines.

Written at 9:54 PM on Thursday, April 03, 2008

actually.
i still havent post about sports carnival.
it would be great if i have that time. cos if i have it. i would have feel much more at ease. getting one more thing outta my mind.
time has been running really short.
somehow or rather i just feel really really scared now.
i got no idea why.
cos everything happened to turn out wrong.
for council, my group, we had been sacrificing our time to practice for the dance item. yea. sacrificed.
oh well, i got this evil feeling ever since the phy test is over.
i am gonna *&^%$#!^%*! flunk it. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
i just couldnt control it.
the 'how ifs' keep appearing.
cos it seems rather clear to me that my physics is like .. shit.
but the problem is i dint study for the frigging test. i cant expect myself to pass right ?
but still, i forgotten how to do the questions since i did do the first 2 tutorials.
darn it,
i cant help but worry right ?
cos as i think through the reason why i wanna come to a jc. and the only reason i can come to is get to a good local university. hell, isnt it what everyone wants. and now, 3 As or 4 As are no big deals. and now i cnt even handle first topic of physics. just felt that i dint live up to my o's score. feel that my parents is right for neglecting my studies. if i get back that test paper, i dont tink im showing my parents. i tink im gonna forge or something. rebellious ? just once. im have to pull my socks up first. dont feel like letting my parents see me in this state. if it continues then i would just have to face the music and come clean.
what happened this afternoon was clearly a small thing, straightened out my thoughts.
just that too many things alrdy. one has limits.
AH.
i think probably im too paranoid.

there are just several issues fighting for first place in my mind. darn it, its worst that o's or even prelims. AHH

1. council camp {i will pass!}
2. council q&a {trial has given me confidence but still i have yet to come up with my 1 min intro}
3. physics
4. ultraman {this is retarded i should be worrying bout this}
5. time management {i have to draw up a timetable}
6. tuitions {I WANNA CHINESE, GP tuition, shall squeeze it into my timetable if i can find}
7. gp {seriously, i dont see where is gp getting to. what the heck am i studying. its like just some random stuff the teacher prepare outta nowhere. i mean wat can the powerpoint slides do. ARH}
8. campaigning
9. what if ? i dont get into council. {I WILL GET INTO COUNCIL I SWEAR}
10. why am i joining council. {sorry, but i tink i have to re-re-re-re-re- evaluate on this}
is this the correct decision.
11. i cnt believe that the cca that i previously went {backup}, the person told me that he may not vote for sam and me. wtheck. im so sorry man. i dint expect such a friend.
12. i feel like going to the poly.
13. i have to skip PE tmr. the frigging excuse is tough. PARENTS LETTER IS FINAL.
14. PI. this. sucks.
15. am i leader ?

and lastly the chem mini test which i havent study. blast with it its not counted.

dang, am i a normal teenager. can i push all this away ? thats avoidance. ARH. i need to talk man. but do i have the time ? i need a break.

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