Mixed Feelings?

I feel darn mean now.
But whatever whats done is done.
I deleted you.
Its better off this way.
I am so not going to do anything.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder, am I venting my frustrations on you?
BAD. I'm being bad. Okay. Peace. V
Stupid ghost stories, Bishan. Ah. But definitely much better.
Everyone is getting pretty depressed nowadays right? I don't say, but I know. I know you are reading my blog, so don't feel sad okay? You can talk to me about it too. Cos we are both closer to our dads than to our moms, even though my dad have to go on business trips very regularly.

Shall listen to Ai Nante and get all depressed again. Just somehow or rather I think the song is too soothing. Roflmao. I knew it was a sad song! Roars.

Watch Painted Skin, towards the end, wtheck, everything gets so saddening. I didn't expect the guy to love his wife so much. I thought he would be furious that his wife is admitting that she is the demon. And kill her without regrets. Instead it was a crying scene. I bet many people sobbed. Ah, a family outing. I was pretty happy about that.

Mom's talking to me alrdy. That's good. That's after I said Thank you to her after she helped me send my phone for fixing. It sounded pretty unsincere, but I guess she knows that I tried my best alrdy. It isn't that I did not want to say at first like immediately after getting the phone. Cos she was having this really black face while putting my phone on my bed. I didn't even dare say hi. I have a bad phobia I guess, I don't dare to be comfortable with my parents. I don't dare to beg them for help. I don't dare to be affectionate to them. Yes, this year is a bad year. I changed. And only my parents realised. I was lost throughout. The sudden lost of interest, lost. Lost the feeling. Things that I yearned so badly, vanquished into dust. Once driven by enthusiasm, whats now? I am without a compass. Not seeking help, prolonging and severing the problem. Am I trying to show that I'm independent? -Dad. &I have yet to find a way out. That's why I wish I am given a chance to go back to the beginning and pick up the pieces I left behind. But I'm scared, by turning back, I would start to lose what I'm holding on right now. I don't want to lose everything. Greed? Pride has gotten in a way I guess. I wish time would just stop. For me. But it never happens. There was no time to think, I just did what I'm supposed to do. Like a robot.
And because of me, Pam& Bro got implicated. Bro have to go school by himself. Ah, but I'm changing, really. Time would tell. I'm feeling awful now, shall go and sleep.

Someone to lean on? Ha.

Amanda.